I like to think that I challenge myself regularly, but this past long weekend I realized I haven’t been doing so as much as I thought.
After a long year of cancelled plans, like so many of us, Peter and I decided to get out and have some fun with the family.
Go Karting was first and we did several other outings over the weekend. On Monday we decided to hoist our bikes onto the car and go trail riding.
I had envisioned the trail as a wide, treelined trail that meandered along a small lake. Turns out though, it was the exact opposite.
My guys were extremely excited to see the narrow, baja-like dirt trail that was completely covered in rocks of varying sizes, scattered about amongst exposed tree roots and lined with trees that we’re very close together.
I’d share a photo here, but I was too focused on staying upright on my bike to snap any at the time, lol!
As I slowly guided myself along the trail that wound around fallen tree trunks and that also had some steep drops with sharp turns, I considered turning back soon after starting.
Then I heard the delighted whoops from my thrill-seeking companions and told myself that I could do it. Something rose within me that wanted to prove to myself that I could finish this – even though it wasn’t what I had planned.
That’s when I realized that I had a desire to shake loose of the complacency that had settled in with all my time at home. It was as though I rekindled something inside of me that had been laying dormant and this unexpected adventure was exactly what I needed.
If you’re someone who trial rides all the time or does far more adventurous things than this, you may be chuckling right now. But there’s something deeper behind this story.
Perfectionism.
I realize how much I can get stuck in needing everything in my life to look a certain way. 2020/21 has shattered so much of that thinking, but it lingers.
Women especially have been conditioned to avoid risks and only move forward when conditions are close to perfect.
But you and I both know that perfection doesn’t exist.
It’s such an illusion that keeps us stuck in our lives. That’s why you’ve heard me talk about perfection before and I will continue to. We need the reminder to move forward in spite of our circumstances not being exactly as we envision.
This is where faith lies and that’s where the joy is found: In getting started and figuring it out as you go.
It can be easier said than done, and that’s why I like to ask two questions when I find myself come up against it.
You can hear more about this on a 5 minute episode of the podcast here. (Episode 102).
I often laugh at myself because I should know better by now that the plans in my head often don’t look exactly the same in real life. In fact – they sometimes look even better!
One of the greatest areas of my life where this has been true is in my marriage.
Peter & I recently celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. I share how it started and what we’ve learned so far in episode 103 of the podcast.
I hadn’t planned to record it because we don’t pretend to have all the answers.
There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage. What we’ve found is that embracing imperfection, coupled with loads of grace are key ingredients to our longevity as a couple.
I hope that some of what we’ve learned will be an encouragement for your relationships.
Tell Me:
Where does perfectionism come up most in your life? In your work, your self-care, or your relationships? How do you deal with it when it arises? Let me know below. It might be just what someone else needs to hear.
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Blessings,
Sheila
